I’m a heavy smoker, I love my cigarettes, I need my cigarettes, my lungs hunger and beg for a smoke, Nicotine is My Master …
But how far would I go for cigarettes?
One of my ex boyfriends played a joke on me one night, it was playful, but still, he hid my cigarettes and wouldn’t give them back.
I wanted to smoke and started getting angry.
It was the first time since I started smoking that someone kept cigarettes from me.
He said he would give them back if I was a good girl and did what I was told.
Like I said, it was playful, but I considered just leaving his apartment to buy more cigarettes, it’s not like he was holding me hostage or anything.
I don’t want to go into what he was telling me to do, but I did as I was told, I was a ‘good girl’ and he finally gave my cigarettes back.
I smoked hard, two in a row, and fast.
But this playful experience got me thinking …
What would I do for cigarettes? How far would I go?
When I’m kept from smoking for too long, specially when traveling to Europe (it’s like 9 hours in a plane!) I get a bit crazy and desperate.
On more than one of these flights I got so desperate I went to the bathroom and almost lit up, I thought I could blow the smoke into the toilet and flush it without anyone finding out, but I never went through with it, it’s illegal and I got scared thinking I would get arrested after the plane landed and spend an even longer time without being able to smoke.
At times like that I need a smoke so bad I sometimes think I would do almost anything to get it.
Or would I?
I recognize that my addiction is pretty intense, but the question remains …
How Far Would I Go?